Grief Monster

Hello dear readers.

Today I'd like you to meet my grief monster. He's become my new BFF, unfortunately not of my choosing.

He is with me at all times. All day, every day. All night, every night.

Oh sure, often he's quiet and maybe naps occasionally , but he's always there.

I can feel him.

And he isn't very polite. So ungentlemanly of him.

I picture him like this.

I've named him Dr Lecter. He is nearly as abomidable.

I can almost her the "Hello Kimberly" snarling out of his mouth as he makes appearances in the car, at work, while I'm bathing, everywhere. I have yet to find a place he cannot appear.

I am often successful at putting him back in his little box, but ultimately he is a strong s.o.b. and will not leave me alone. He has to come out a few times day, I guess to fulfill his / my quota.

Like I said before, I'm stealth grieving. I told someone at work that told me how well I was doing it that I was faking. And they thought I was kidding.

I'm not. I'm just an amazingly good poser.

I hope Dr Lecter has plans for the holiday weekend, maybe he'll go to that little beach town he was in the last time I saw him. If not, I'm sure he'll be around.

And he and I will get along just fine.


Kristin said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the pain you must be feeling.

I love your characterization of grief as Hannibal Lecter.


Big Pissy said...

I don't always comment....but I always read.


Elizabeth said...

His ass can never be kicked completely, but I have no doubt that you're the strongest of the two. Then, you'll be picturing him in the straight jacket and face mask.


Phoebe said...

Grief is hard, I'm with you on this one. Though my loss is different than yours, I understand how it can feel like grief is a monster that drains you of all your energy. When you can't stand it anymore, try to find something to distract you. It will always be there when you are ready to come back. I'm so sorry for your loss. Big hugs!!


Karl said...

Aw, hon, if I could, I'd kick the everloving shit out of Hannibal for you.

A Mom in Jacksonville, FL said...

LOVED your grief = Hannibal Lector analogy.

Sorry you are hurting so very much.


Cynnie said...

im a poser too..some people are the tap dancers of the world..
doesnt mean we dont hurt.
Im really so so sorry

Beautiful Mess said...

I'm an AMAZING poser as well. I faked it for three years. I'm so sorry you're having to fake it. I'm sending you so many prayers of peace and healing. If you EVER want to talk or vent about grief *bitch* never hesitate to email me. Sadly grief is a close friend of mine.

Bubblewench said...

I hope you bitchslapped that SOB and had a decent weekend.