A good christian....

Today was supposed to be my Probate Court date to finally execute G's will and get the much needed "letters of testamentary" and other legal documents so I can start sorting out the mounds of legal issues, bills, and receipt of stock from his company and finally starting to move forward.

That's not happening today. It's been rescheduled for September.

The reason? G's ex and the mother of his 8 year old son claims she didn't know about the court date, which is total bull. She was very well aware as she had been told by her former mother in-law and brother in-law, who I had set to handle part of the estate that I was going to put into a trust for my stepson that he could use upon entering college. She was sent a registered letter and the post office sent her three notices and kept it for two weeks, she just didn't bother picking it up. She called the courthouse raising hell feigning ignorance about the hearing and in the words of my attorney and the court appointed guardian ad litem "acted like a horse's ass." That description fits her well known nickname which I won't reveal here but it involves corn and a chain-link fence.

But anyhoo, back to the story. She successfully sabotaged the court date, causing more delays and legal crap, more attorney's fees, and just more stress overall.

All the while promoting herself as a "good christian woman" and using her church to promote her facade.

Since I don't have any spare money laying around for bail I had to veto the urge to go .07 miles to her home and whip the devil right out of her. So I decided I would write her a letter instead.

Dear Christian Woman,

I hope you awakened with a smug smirk this morning in the knowledge that you have momentarily stopped the wheels of probate from running here in Shelby County. I hope you also realize that in doing so, you not only hurt me, which I am sure was your original intent, but you have hurt your son, and R, his older half-sister.

You see, even though you get $1800 dollars a month in Social Security, your new husband's income, and your mother's retirement check from Johnson & Johnson as she lives with yall, you are poor in spirit and in human decency. BTW, about that new husband?? Thanks for hiding the fact that yall got married until after G died so the monthly support checks wouldn't be modified by the court. What Sunday School class taught you how to do that?

I am the sole heir and executor of MY husband's estate. You have no say in what I do with anything. It was me and G who discussed setting up a trust for Patrick in case something happened to him. We are the ones who started a college fund for him 4 years ago, to which you have yet to contribute to but incessantly call your ex brother-in-law to try and get your hands on the money. I am the one that has continued to put money in there even after you haven't allowed me to see P since the day of the funeral.

It is P and R you are really hurting. R is a 22 year old woman who works her ass off at the salon and works a second job. She needs car money, gas money, etc, etc.....and you have stopped that. P was going to have a trust fund set up, I was going to offer to buy all of his school supplies and school clothes (As I have done for the last four years), and I was going to do whatever I could to help those kids in the wake of losing their Daddy. But oh no, your good Christian morals had to go and upend the apple cart, so to speak.

I have to say, you do a great acting job. Must be all those church productions and the children's programs you are involved in. At the hospital, you hugged me and told me God was watching over me and that you and the church would be praying for me and if I needed ANYTHING just ask. You were nice to my mom (who when she first met you told me she thought there was something mentally wrong with you just from a look), hugged on my brother and tried to be the mom you never were to R, my evil stepdaughter who I love dearly and still have a great relationship with. I should have known something was up when you didn't even get teary eyed and looked down your nose at Brother Tony when he came to pray with us, because he wasn't from "your church" and were overheard saying it. Brother Tony has known my parents since before I entered this world, he is family, and he walks the walk and talks the talk, and I think you could learn about being a "good Christian" from him. G also trusted him completely and they had many conversations before he died, which I am so thankful for.

You were oh so nice at the hospital. At the funeral. At my in-laws. P even sat with me at the funeral and he looked so handsome in his little suit and he held my hand and told me he loved me and it would be ok. He and I put notes and flowers in the hole before they sealed it up. You stood there and watched. A 7 year old boy comforted me as I had comforted him over the years, and he has his daddy and my family to thank for instilling that kind of honest caring in him. I am positive he learned little of that from you.

And you were so nice in the weeks afterward, even when I knew you were calling the funeral home and my in-laws pestering them for a copy of the death certificate. The day I got them, you got the first copy. So you could get P on Social Security.
That was the last I heard from you, Miss Good Christian. You won't answer your phone, and you have made it abundantly clear to others that I will never see P again. Yes, I know people in your church. In your neighborhood. They talk to me at the pool, at the store, at the park. They see you for the phony you are. You've got a few people fooled, but everyone else knows what you're really like and they put up with you because you're bipolar and don't want to have to listen to your crap when you set off.

So you go on and keep leading your "good Christian woman" life. But you remember that karma is often a boomerang.

You remember that I am the one who taught P to dive and swim underwater. To ride a tube on the lake. To hit a baseball. To ride a bike. I am the one who coached his soccer teams, took him to football practice, picked him up when you couldn't get to the school or G was out of town. I'm the one that planned and paid for his last two birthday parties. I took him places on summer vacation while you were working and G was traveling. I went to his first day of school with him too. Met his teachers, went to his class, ate lunch with him. He was part of my family as well with his Poppa Bill, Miss Betty and his uncle Alan and cousin Connie Lou and on and on. I'm the one that covered you when I went to the school to pick him up and you had bounced a check to the lunch fund or to the PTO. Remember me? The "evil stepmother?" Yea, he looks mighty sad doesn't he....

I hope one day you will look back and see how unchristian your behavior is. And in case you forget, I will still have the nasty e-mails, the voice mails, and the little notes you would send over with "your son." Including the e-mail you drafted and sent us by accident which has some decidedly foul language and references to my being a "beat cop in a podunk town" and referring to my parents as "elitist rich assholes".

I would have to say the many kids I helped by locking their abusers and molesters away would probably disagree with your description of my former career. And I know your father is an alcoholic felon and your mother is a certified crazy person, but you don't have to bash my parents because they are happily married after 43 years and functional. And in case you have forgotten my attorney and yours have all 113 of the e-mails you fired off through the years. Remember those? The ones that the judge read and threw your case for sole custody out of court? Yea, those.

Oh and I forgot to add, when is it ever acceptable to threaten an 86 year old woman with not letting her see her grandson again unless she cuts off communication with me?
You left the family, and now you want to be all back up in it. Whatever.

So anyway, just wanted to tell you that you have inspired me to be a better person than you, and to try and learn from a real christian what it's all really about. It's a learning process everyday but I think I'm getting it.

And if the Bible is correct and you reap what you sow, I hope your harvest is bountiful and never-ending.


So there's my letter. That should explain why yesterday was so craptacular and in the words of another of my widow friends, continued the "Dreaded Bureaucracy of Death".

Today is another day though, and here I am.

Tally-ho yall.


the*4*of*us said...

Wow! That was good!

Kim said...

Ok is this silly thing working now??

Bubblewench said...

YEAH! That was totally awesome Kim. It really bugs me how people stab you in the back, screw you over, then go to church and talk about how christian they are.

See ya in hell bitch.

charlene said...

kim~~i so hate yo have having to go through even more crap~~you of all people don't deserve to be treated this way

i hate she is making it harder for you that it already is

i'm sending you warm thoughts and good wishes for peace and comfort


Anonymous said...

I totally agree with Bubblewench, Kim. I get so sick of these "Christian" hypocrites. I hope things turn out well for you. Are you going to send the letter to this woman or was this just to let off steam?
I have been quietly following your journey over these last few months and am glad that you have perservered. I lost my Dad in July of 2007 and finally closed his estate this last March. Being an executor can be a major pain in the ass. I'm just glad I didn't have any contentious relatives to deal with. Now my mom has early onset Alzheimer's so I am managing all of her financial stuff and my brother takes cares of her. It can wear you down, that's for sure.

Stay strong and it will get better.


BeautifulWreck said...

What a bitch. Not the sort of christian I want to hang with but they are everywhere. Your letter was fantastic and I hope she reaps what she sows.

Your step-son will know, and when he was older I bet you will have a relationship with him once again. She is damaging her child and for what? control? Its pathetic.

Kim said...

Thanks to all of you.

Sara I appreciate it !! I love getting praise from other bloggers cuz u all inspire me !
Shannon, I think she'll be further below hell, I hope.

Charlene, thanks for your support. it's like a bad car ride that never ends.

Larry - hugs bud! We've come a long way since blowing up mailboxes haven't we? Sorry about your dad, and mom, I went through that with Granny and it was rough.

Thanks again, it helps to have a place to vent !

LOVIN7 said...

Good for you Coz-she deserves every word of your letter if that's the kind of phony Christian she is. Bless you for taking such good care of G's son. He will rememeber what YOU did for him more then his own mother. I hope you get to see him again. I bet it was therapeutic for YOU to get everything out in this letter. ((HUGS))

Kim said...

Definitely was L7 !! ((Hugs)) back atcha !

HotfootLori said...

Hey Kim - I saw your tweets yesterday (I'm BamaTweetBird) and have tracked down your blog.


I can feel the iritation and frustration through your words. I hope by expressing all that you feel better now. I know I would. LOL

I'll continue to follow your journey :)

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, but your letter is PERFECT!

Margie!! said...

OMG, fuck this bitch.

TexasRaceLady said...

Cool letter, Kimmers. Outstanding.

That one is a piece of work -- grade A, first class asshole.

I'm not going to call her a bitch, because I don't want to insult the dogs.

Greg's son knows the difference between you and his mom.

Hang in there.

Kim said...

Thanks again all of yall, you all help me get through this !

Big Pissy said...

What a GREAT letter! Man, I wish you could send it to her! ARGH! :(

Glad you wrote it....hope it helped you get it out of your system so to speak.

That witch isn't worth wasting your time worrying about.

She'll get hers.

Elizabeth said...

Great letter. I'm glad you got all of it out. I was afraid for a little bit you might finally crack, but, see, even though you don't believe us, you really are strong. Really. :)

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Darlin' that was an AMAZING letter. I'm so glad you got that off your chest. What a bitch.

Beautiful Mess said...

I know I'm late to the "that bitch needs to go down" party, but here I am! And for what it's worth, she will get what's coming to her. I'm sure it'll take time, it always does but she will.

You're doing a great job of taking the high road. Keep it up, girl!

sybil law said...

What a miserable fucking bitch.
Sorry you've had to deal with her. Her poor kids.
The letter was perfect, though. Go on with your bad self!

Anonymous said...


I've been following your Blog for some time now, but have never commented before. Just want you to know you are often in my thoughts. As respects today's post, "You Go Girl". I bet you feel better getting that off of your chest. I am a Stepmother and I can identify with alot of your frustrations.

Oneonta, AL

T Lee said...

So many manipulative and also insane (lethal combo) people in our world.

The letter was great. She will not get it , though.

I feel so sad for you and the little guy. His mom obviously has to be mentally ill or just plain COLD and self absorbed to crush her son like she is.

Sounds like you and dad had shared custody and you have plenty of proof of a close relationship, for years.

If nutso does not want to open her eyes, maybe there is an option for continued visitation. Get some professional documentation from psychologists or therapists. Get courts to order psych evaluation with the boy. Also request psych eval of mom. Sue for full custody.
Even you don't win, it will ROCK her world and open her up in ways she never saw coming.

There are ways to deal with any situation. She does not corner the market on manipulation.

Just Sayin'

I agree with you about the boomerang effect of karma and about reaping what you sow 150%.
Sometimes it sucks that we never see that day, but I just KNOW that day DOES come and that comforts me.

Hang Tough. Think Clearly. Breathe Deeply. Pray. Keep your head up! Move Forward!


So Not Wishy Washy said...

Amazing letter. That cunt (Yeah, I said that.) will get hers in the end. You may not be there to see it, but someone will definitely tell you about it.

Until that time, rise above, tow the line, and take the high road. You're better for it.

Minx said...

jaysus Kim, remind me to never EVER f*ck w/ you. for reals.
(it's Lily, btw, from way back in the day...in Singapore).

Elaina M. Avalos said...

I wish I'd read this post first I would have told you to drink a bottle of Tequila instead. ;)

Wow, Kim. This just breaks my heart. I'm so very, very sorry. I cannot stand manipulative women like this. Even less when they use Jesus as a front for their very un-Christ like behavior. I'm so sorry.

All I know to say is, hang in there and keep taking the high road. Eventually, she will get what's coming to her. You know what they say about karma...

Supa Dupa Fresh said...

Hey cookie,

Thanks for the shoutout, but DBoD was actually coined by Kristin at http://youngwidowswasteland.blogspot.com/ (although I like to use it, and am back in the thick of it with my MIL's estate).

Fun, fun.

BTW, that bitch is not getting good advice: the most important thing after a death is not to consolidate your empire and control thought, but actually to keep things consistent for the kids.

Not that she has any common sense anyway... but.