6 months.

25 weeks.

181 days.

4,344 hours.

260,640 minutes.

15,638,400 seconds.

And I still can't make myself believe that he's never coming back.


That word never meant that much to me before.

Til never was never again.


Around 3 am I heard my name out loud. I had been sleeping fitfully before then, up and down, hearing things, dogs restless and moving around alot. I got up and walked around, and even though I really don't believe in ghosts and all that, it was weird. It was like a presence in my house. I dunno how to explain it. I guess if this is the point where people really start going insane, my turn's here.


Coloradolady said...

It is very hard to comprehend....even loved ones that have been gone for still is hard....for some reason, the mind does not wrap itself around that concept....or at least mine does not....hugs Kim...

Beautiful Mess said...

I'm sorry sweetie. I truly am. I wish there was more I could do for you. I hate those realizations that bring one to their knees. It's really hard for me to make my world stop spinning when I think about never.

Sending you so much love and strength for better days.

TexasRaceLady said...

You are not alone in trying to comprehend "never."

22yrs and counting --- and "never" still does not compute.

So Not Wishy Washy said...

Umm. I believe in ghosts. I have seen my sister who died back in 1986 twice. SEEN her. In public places. And followed her.

I've also felt my Dad's presence MANY times since he died in 2004. He was definitely in the delivery room when I gave birth to Butter.

Don't doubt that G was there when you woke. It may not be in the way you want, but he's always going to be there.

TexasRaceLady said...

Kim, I was awakened out of sound sleep one night by my mother's voice.

You are not alone --- ever.

And, no, you're not insane.

LOVIN7 said...

Being a Tony fan, the #20 has been a favorite number of mine but I hate that it's a SAD number for you Cozzie. ((HUGS))

Robin said...

I am so sorry, Kim! Just know that extra thoughts and prayers will be with you today!


Robin :o)

sybil law said...

Not crazy.

HEATHER said...

Sweet girl, you are NOT CRAZY!!
3:00 AM is known as the witching hour(don't know why but have always heard this-it might have something to do with the veil between this world and the other side being thinner at that time). It probably was G just to let you know that you are not alone.
When I was sick and losing my first pregnancy, my grandmother, grandfather, and uncle (all passed on) surrounded the operating table I was on. Now mind you I had been given NO drugs at all, but they were there. My grandmother patted my arm and told me I would be ok, and she touched my granddaddy on his arm like she always did and said to him Doug tell her she will be ok and he said it's ok baby girl-which is what he always called me. The doctor said something to be and they vanished.
Don't be afraid, you know that G is not going to hurt you. I am certain that this is his way of letting you know he's ok and wanting to comfort you.
You are in my prayers. You are not crazy.

Bubblewench said...

Kim you know I believe in ghosts. And I believe he is in that house trying to make sure you are ok and watching over you with love.