You can find me in da club.....

Sometimes while I'm driving around I'll see signs that say "Celebrate Recovery!" and "Divorce Support Groups" and countless other signs for organizations that meet in churches, community centers and in towns all around.

Until recently I never gave these signs much thought. Then I started realizing that I didn't see any "Club W" signs sticking out of the ground, wavering on their thin metal legs like wheat in a breezy field. I see no signs for the club I have been reluctantly indoctrinated into.

Sure, there are grief support systems everywhere. But unlike most clubs, it's not so easy for us to have an uplifting sign or banner telling the world about our group.

If so, it would have to be a big sign.

At the very least, it would have to have images of our club members doing the following:

* wailing
* sitting and staring blankly
* laughing uncontrollably
* racked with silent sobs
* expressing guilt over the earlier laughter
* anger
* denial
* laying in bed all day

And countless other images from the roller-coaster of emotions us club members are treated to.

I tried to go to a grief support group. It didn't quite fit at the time. I'm going to try again in a few months, after I make it through the holidays. I'm afraid I'll be taking my mother at some point by then.

I fit in pretty well in the blog-o-sphere though. I've even found other members of the club and now call them my friends and fellow members. I want to thank them, as well of all of you that read and leave comments here. You've helped me make it these last almost 7 months and even though it's been hell, I am a stronger person because of your help in making me take steps forward.



ShellSpann said...


Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

I never thought of myself as part of a support group, but you know? You're absolutely right. That's what's great about blogging is that we're here to talk and we're here to listen and we're here to support.

Love you, hon!

Bubblewench said...

Love you woman! Always here for you, always on my mind and in my heart.

TexasRaceLady said...

Best damn support group in the history of the world!


Supa Dupa Fresh said...

I"m glad you'll consider trying group again. I'm FINALLY writing up ALL MY RANT about how great my experience was. YAMMV... Still.

Happy to be here for you, either way, hon!



Miss Britt said...

Hey - I'm way behind on blog reading but saw you mention this post on twitter and wanted to see what was up with you.

In other words - this comment doesn't count because it came after you said your thanks. LOL

ANYway - when reading this, I thought about the night you sent me a twitter that said "my husband just died. What do I do?"

I didn't get those messages until the next day, and even then, I didn't know what to say.

I don't know why, but reading this post made me think about that and made me think about how incredibly hard it must be to walk around all the time and have people not know what to say to you. To feel like no one can relate.

I'm really glad you've found people you feel like you can relate to via blogging.

Lynda said...

I'm just in Club Death, but I can relate to those things. I'm already weepy about Thursday being 4 years.

There may be a Club W somewhere in your area. I found some specific support groups depending on the type of loss in the past, but I never went to anything except a hospice grief counselor and a psychologist.

LOVIN7 said...

I hope you try group therapy again. My hubby has had some BIG problems lately and he found talking opening to strangers quite therapeutic very surprisingly since he doesn't talk to ME about his feelings. I think it might help you and your mom down the road. I am praying for your family as you face your father's death and know God will give you the strength to survive once again ((HUGS))