Dear 2009,

You have really disappointed me. We started off so positive with the promise of a Caribbean vacay for G and I, a new boat, season tickets to Auburn football, a NYC trip to the new Yankee stadium and the promise of spending my 40th birthday in a tropical paradise sipping frou-frou drinks.

And then you went right to shit. Yes, I said it - shit. And nooooooo, you couldn't be innocuous and easy. Oh no, not you 2009.....Yanno those new toilets? The ones that go WHOOOOOOOSSSHHHH and sound like they could suck you down with them? Well, someone replaced all of the old slow swirly ones in my life with a BIG one of those. Effers.

Here's my 2009 in bullet form......

* My husband, best friend, buddy and partner in crime died in a freak accident.
* My dad's cancer progressed to the point that he isn't gonna get through Christmas.
* An uninsured illegal Mexican hit my NEW CAR. I had to pay for it.
* A tree in my yard fell over in a storm and crushed my neighbor's cars.
* My favorite cousin had her colon cancer come back. She's back in treatment.
* My family? The drama ? Jeez. It never ends.
* My stepson's mom got his SS check and won't let me see him anymore. Bitch.
* My former stepdaughter is fighting me on the will. See above,add white trash.
* About that, it's been going on for 8 months !
* I can't do anything with the house til it's over. I may lose it.
* I have gone absolutely nowhere in my job and wonder if I ever will.
* I have a crazy dog that destroys ANYTHING that stays still.
* I spent my 40th birthday landlocked. ( but with good friends )
* The people I thought would be here for me ? NOT !
* I was diagnosed with carpal tunnel. Ugh.
* A good friend committed suicide this past weekend.
* Another died in a MC accident right after Greg died. I couldn't make myself go to the funeral because my own grief was so strong.
* My cousin died Sunday night from cancer. My mom called me at work.
* I found out it's not cool to take calls about dead people at work.
* I've developed a raging case of insomnia. Except in daylight hours.
* Turns out death isn't a great diet for me - apparently I'm a stress eater.
* I can't fit into my pants.
* did I mention that my husband DIED?

The only good things that have happened this year are that I found out just how good, true and so there for you internet, Twitter, FB and blogger friends really are. And that real life friends sometimes suck. Not all of them, but as Cyndi Lauper sings, true colors....

Oh, and the Yankees won the World Series and as of right now the Saints are 11-0. And my bangs are longer than they've been in 10 years. And I found some pants that fit.

Little victories. I'll take em.


Robin said...

See? Little victories are still VICTORIES.

Not that misery loves company or nothin' (snerk!!), but I am always here if you wanna talk. :)

Anonymous said...


HEATHER said...

OH honey I am so sorry about your friend and your cousin. You are in my prayers every night, and I always ask for God to give you strength and soothe your heart.
Sleeping in the daytime-classic depression-which you have every right to be, but depression is a physical illness and can worsen your pain with the carpel tunnel, cause stress on your heart, and bring about other stress borne illnesses. Please try to get some medication to help you. I know you don't like to take them but you may need something to get your brain chemistry regulated. My mom suffers from severe depression so I have had to learn so much about it's physical effects and they are many.
Re:crazy dog chewing up everything-keep him in a crate when you can't watch him. It's for his own safety and protection. It's a form of separation anxiety.

Alicia said...

It does sound like a rough year. I am sorry you had to go through all of that. I pray that 2010 will be a better year!

Anonymous said...

This year is almost over. Slate clean. 2010 is going to not suck for you. I declare it to be so!

LOVIN7 said...

When I think I have it bad-and I really DON'T, I think of all you've had to deal with and slap myself in the head and think "it could be SO much worse." My hubby became severely depressed and threatened to end his life more then once;luckily he accepted treatment and is taking CYMBALTA which has worked great. Maybe you could try it too? I know Jay's suicide this week had to hit you really hard. We have to ask "WHY?" Sorry to hear about your cousin's passing and of course praying for comfort for your dad and your mom too. I hope you can find some relief for YOU too physically; emotionally it's gonna take a LONG time, but we are here for you always. As was said, 2010 is a whole new, CLEAN year to fill with GOOD memories. ((HUGS)) Cozzie.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

OK. Your 2009 sounds like my 1998. It started in January with my dad's death and didn't stop until October. During that time, my uncle followed dad, 20 other people I knew or were related to died, I had to put my cat to sleep, and work went to hell when I got into some ridiculous drama that I won't even put here. It was horrible.

And then, 1999 dawned, and it was so much better. And I healed. And I have a feeling that 2009 has been your bad year and that 2010 will be your healing year.

Keeping my fingers crossed.

The Duchess of Wessex said...

Hang in there... 2010 is coming!

You've survived 2009 - the credit for that is yours!

Anne Y said...

Way to tell 2009 to Suck a big fat one Kim!

TexasRaceLady said...

You are so right --- 2009 really sucks.

The love of my life for the last 42yrs had a "minor" heart attack in September. Thank the good Lord, the docs caught it, put in a stint, and he's doing well.

Hang in there, Kimmers, there is nowhere to go but UP.

Poppy said...

A lifetime of bad stuff in one year. Let's hope it stays there, and doesn't continue. bleh.

hugs, Kim, and a plate of corned beef HASH, BLECH.

Micki said...

You have to be the strongest woman I have ever encountered! Some say that God only gives us as much as we can handle. And that is one big, stinking pile of shit you have been given. You take those little victories....every single one of them.....and use them to stay strong. Here's to better times ahead. Cheers!

sybil law said...

Mofo! That IS a lot. A shit ton of bullshit, in fact! Fuck 2009!
I am amazed you've kept your sanity. See how strong you are? You ARE.

BeautifulWreck said...

you know thru all of this I see and know you are a survivor. you still have your fight, you still laugh and cry, and your sense of humor is still here.


JJ said...

That's enough for a whole Country Album! Really Sux. So sorry you have to go thru all this and hope it turns around to an equally inverse direction some day soon.

hello haha narf said...

hate that there is nothing we can say or do to make things better for you.

2010 is gonna not permitted to crap in your yard.

Anonymous said...

Keep moving forward. *sigh* That's all you can do.