Where the sidewalk ends.......

I hope the sidewalk never ends, and I hope that I find it's path one day. And I hope that someone is waiting for me on that sidewalk. And I hope he's wearing my pink crocs.....



Where the Sidewalk Ends


There is a place where the sidewalk ends And before the street begins, And there the grass grows soft and white, And there the sun burns crimson bright, And there the moon-bird rests from his flight To cool in the peppermint wind. Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black And the dark street winds and bends. Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow, And watch where the chalk-white arrows go To the place where the sidewalk ends. Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow, And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go, For the children, they mark, and the children, they know The place where the sidewalk ends.

Shel Silverstein

Decoration (AKA Hell Saturday)

Today was "decoration" at the cemetery where 25% of my husband is buried. Apparently, it is an old tradition that requires family members to take flowers out to the grave, and then you make a donation to the groundskeepers fund, and eat, etc,etc. I don't recall doing this when I was younger, but then again, I've never been a big fan of the marble orchard.

I went because I am "the widow" and it's the proper thing to do, and because there was no one else available to take my mother-in-law, even though their family is about 10x the size of mine. (bites tongue)

I awoke at the proper time, got ready, and headed to the florist that we have used for years to pick up my flowers. I had taken a picture of the urn thingy there, had told them specifically what I wanted and had even picked out the flowers and greenery. It was nice latex and almost real looking stuff, none of that plastic dollar store crap for my Gregory. So I get there, amass the rush of Mother's Day flowers and deliveries, and the owner says "Hi Kim, how are you? What can I help you with?"

Then she gets a look on her face like she just ate a rotten lemon. "OH MY GOD IS THAT TODAY???"

Well !#^@%#^&#*. This is a GLOOOOOORIOUS start to my Saturday. She apologizes profusely and tries to give me some cheapy looking rainbow colored urn arrangement, and I managed to keep my cool and say "no thank you" and left.

I then spent the next hour stopping at every florist, Hobbby Lobby, flowery type place I could find. I finally found something that would just "have to do" at a Home Accents store. Oh I was ill as a hornet, as I am sure you can imagine. Which in turn initiated a skull splitting headache and my gastrointestinal system to turn against me. Multiple bathroom stops, three advils and lots of cursing finally got me to my MIL's much later than anticipated.

Oh and did I tell you it was a FRIGGING MONSOON?

By the time we got out to there the rain had slacked up, thank god because I had to put flowers my MIL got on every relative I think has ever existed, some I never heard of. We stayed out there for a few until it started raining again, and I took her home, said I had to get, and headed out.

I decided to run through town and stop at a little store that I have been wanting to go to, so I did, and then I tried to take a different way back to the interstate. This town has four exits that lead to downtown, surely I could meander my way out?

Oh no, I got LOST !! Yes, with a GPS in my car , and one on my phone, I was driving around Cullman County aimlessly. I knew when I saw cows I had problems. You would think at this point I would have lost it. Amazingly enough, I was remarkably calm. Calm in that talking to yourself in a high pitched voice and white-knuckling the steering wheel, but calm none the less. My stomach and head were even cooperating and had politely excused themselves from the situation. I managed to finally luck myself back to the interstate where I headed southbound, fast.

About 20 miles down the road, I had to tinkle. So I stopped, did that, and decided I would get gas. And along the road I went.

When I got back to Bham I decided I needed a cocktail so I stopped to grab a bite to eat and a drink, and then I realized that I didn't have MY CHECK CARD. @#$#^!*!* And I knew right where it was. Sitting on the top of the gas pump, along with the Coke Zero I bought. So I spent twenty minutes on the phone with Wachovia, who are sending me another card forthwith, and I used my other check card. Thank god I have two accounts with two different cards or I would have up the proverbial creek without a paddle. All of this because I left my purse at home and just took my little wallet thingy that only holds a few cards and my id. Everything else, at home. Grrrr. Luckily no one used my card and it is now inactive.

So I then "hit the road again" and decided I would run by the store to pick up a few groceries. And WINE. Which I plan to be enjoying as soon as I finish this post.

I then came home, got the jeep and the boys and went to the nursery to get daylilies to plant around the base of Gregory's tree. Nothing like digging in the dirt to ease one's frustrations. They look very nice and that made me happy and kind of made up for the Saturday from hell.

I hope your Saturday was better, and hope everyone enjoy's Mothers Day.....and just so you know, I'm going to the nice flower place next week and start making my own arrangement for Gregory for summer. I guess if you want something done, you really do have to do it yourself.

The orange ones are the ones that I grabbed in a rush.......they don't look too terribly bad, but still.....and the ones on the left are from my MIL.

Me-mes....

Alot of people that have recently met me and started reading my blog can only define me as "Kim whose husband Gregory died."

Even though that is unfortunately a HUGE part of who I am now, there's a lot of other things about me that make me who I am as a person. Many of them I like, many of them I don't. But all in all, it's all me.

So here's kind of a bullet list of things about Kim.....


* I was born in Mississippi but grew up in Singapore, because my dad was in oil.

* My dad also grew up overseas. In Liberia. He had monkeys, elephants and such for pets. What a life.

* I was born two days after Camille, lived through a tornado tearing my parent's house apart in 2004, made it through Katrina, was in a boat that was struck by lightning and have survived a monsoon or two. If the weather gets bad you may want to get away from me. Far, far away.

* When I was 3 I fell off the roof of our house and almost "PUT MY EYE OUT."

* I loved Singapore and am so thrilled to be reconnecting with friends from there thru the interwebz. Yay interwebz!

*Upon moving back from S'pore I lived in Poplarville, MS until 2005. I miss my friends but again, the miracle of the interwebz is bringing us together !

* My mom is deathly afraid of animals but has always let me have a dog. Thanks Mom.

* When I was 13 I walked through a sliding glass door and had 182 stitches in my legs and face. Oh and plastic surgery.

* I have trekked in Nepal, camped in the Australian outback and walked along the Great Wall of China.

* I have also been to about every country I can think of.

* But I've never been to the Grand Canyon.

* My dad played pro football for the 49ers for a few years.

* I have always struggled with weight - up/down/up/down. But I'm ok with that now.

* I have an older brother whom I adore - Hi Alya !!

* I used to be a cop. Near the end, I HATED IT. I wasn't actually thrilled with the circumstances of my leaving law enforcement but it was the best thing that happened to be professionally.

* I am now a computer nerd and I LOVE IT. I LOVE going to work. Except when I'm in a funk, and getting there usually alleviates that.

* I am obsessed with the weather. I wish I was a meteorologist.

* I miss my grandparents now more than ever. I wish my Papaw was here to guide me.

* Speaking of my Papaw, he didn't speak english until he was 12. Only french..and my dad was born in NOLA...so technically I'm a cajun girl.

* I have no musical talent whatsoever. I can't draw, I can't sing, I can't dance. Somewhere in the gene pool I lost out.

* I love t-shirts. Any cool restaurant, bar, visiting place, if you've got a cool t-shirt, it will be mine.

* At Mardi Gras and parades in general, my friends used to call me the bead whore. I never flashed for any, but I was good at getting them !

* I love jello shots.

* I am having a hard time watching my Daddy fight cancer but I can't stand to not be around him.

* I am mad at God and the world in general, but especially me, for taking my Husband away.

* I am trying very hard to deal with the thing above. Not so easy.

There's alot more that I am sure I will add, but I'll leave that for another post.

Happy Wednesday everyone.

Oh and one more thing.

* I love my husband.

Calvin & Hobbes / Me & G

I love Calvin and Hobbes. It was/is my favorite comic strip EVAH !! The Far Side was a close second.





The way they are hugging. Like pure love? Bliss ? That's what we had. Even on our worst of days, it was always there.

Gregory had never heard of C & H. He was more of a Hagar the Horrible, Beetle Bailey person.

Christmas 2006, he asked me what I wanted for present time. I couldn't really think of anything I needed, but there were lots of things I wanted. Unbeknownst to me he had already bought me a wedding band to match my engagement ring ( we eloped - 10 days before Christmas!!) and a beautiful diamond cross necklace. I told him candles, bath stuff, trivial little things. Nothing that mattered.

And then I remembered that the Calvin and Hobbes collection was out. The ENTIRE history of C & H , in a boxed set. I had seen it at Costco and had to resist it's lure each time I walked by.

So I mentioned it.

Christmas morning, 2006. Totally shocked me with the diamond band and the necklace. Bath stuff, candles. A pink tool kit of my very own !! With a bag !! *squeee* The first three seasons of The Sopranos on DVD !!

And ......the C&H box set. He wrapped it himself. It was the last present he gave me.
It's so heavy. He got tape stuck on one of the spines. It's still there.

I began reading them immediately. I would leave it on the counter, the couch, wherever I had been, with a post-it note for a bookmark. I would giggle and smile and snort. I came home once from my POlice-job-from-hell (official title) and he was asleep in his chair with book two in his lap.

I asked him the next morning if he liked it. He said he did, but enjoyed me liking it more. So last night I pulled the books out and started going through them. Some made me laugh, many made me cry. But they all helped my heart.



God bless Bill Watterston. This is my favorite quote from C&H.....

"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.

May you all have sweet dreams tonight, and every night to follow.

You too baby. I love you. See you in my dreams.

He is Dead.....

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

-- W.H. Auden