Friday

8 months...

8 months ago today I woke up from what I can best describe as a tiny respite from my nightmare in one of those hospital chairs that tries to be comfortable but really wasn't.
I was holding Gregory's hand through the mass of wires and tubes.

Standing in front of me were two of the south's finest neurosurgeons.

One of them was holding a clipboard.

Both of them were looking at me.

If you've ever seen Steel Magnolias, you know what comes next.

8 months ago today, my husband died.

I am a widow.

But I guess you all know that by now don't you?

Me ?

I'm still waiting for someone to wake me up and tell me it's just a nightmare.






11 comments:

see see some said...

oh darling~i'm just waking up from my nightmare and finding ken in the bathroom floor~35 months later~all i can say is been there, done that and it fucking sucks~~~all we can do is put one foot in front of the other and take one breathe at a time~~

Bubblewench said...

Hugs and love. That's all I got for you. I know it's not enough, never will be, but it's there, and it's true.

Margie said...

Hang in there Kim. What a bad anniversary but just know that G is there with you, wanting to make it better and know that I, a person you have never met, wishes she could make it better too.

:)

Copasetic Beth said...

hang in there and cherish some good memories today!

T.C. said...

I've been a widower for three years. I can't say it gets easier, but I will say there comes a day when you can talk about them with a smile instead of tears. Hold on to the memories, it's the liferaft that will carry you through.

LOVIN7 said...

((HUGS)) love and prayers as always for you Coz. I wish I could give you more.

Jay said...

Hey Kim, it's Jay from twitter. I know you don't understand why things happen the way they do and nor do I but I can tell you that there is a God, and he loves you and will get you through this. Psalm 55:22

HEATHER said...

((((HUGS))))

TexasRaceLady said...

I know it's hard to grasp, Kim, but there WILL come a day when the 20th won't be a stab in the heart.

I won't tell you the hurt will go away completely, but it will be easier to bear.

(((HUGS)))

Robin said...

{{{{HUGS}}}}

Robin

Poppy said...

My comment is best expressed inside my head. I'm giving you a mind-meld hug. I wish it would get easier for you. But... thinking of the good times together is very helpful.